Reader Question:
we came across men online exactly who lives 500 miles away. He is 34 and I also’m 53. He performed let me know he previously a girl he dated “locally” hence he had been only on the website trying to find pals. 90 days later we discovered we have feelings for each and every various other.
Meanwhile, he however suggests he is experiencing difficulity along with his gf, who is not someone he’s “dating” locally. He’s living with the girl and so they’ve already been with each other for four many years.
At long last decided we had to satisfy to find out if this was worth seeking. He provided me with the reason the guy don’t imagine it absolutely was right to take action while he had been along with her. At long last gave him an ultimatum and told him I couldn’t play second fiddle. He professed their love but stated he was extremely puzzled.
Do we give him ultimatum, it is her or me? Are I wrong to ask him to make that choice?
-Nancy (Fl)
Dr Wendy Walsh’s Response:
Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You published to me for honesty, correct? Really, are you seated? Because right here arrives a honey container of reality.
You happen to be surviving in dream area, my personal dear girl. You have not even found this individual who may or may not be a person and exactly who may have a girlfriend.
We very recommend you find the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an internet love con.
But even although you don’t do that, let’s hypothetically say for a while he is in fact just who he states he could be and disregard the fact he began composing to you by lying about his union standing.
Let us only check out the alleged details.
A.) He’s almost twenty years more youthful than you.
B.) He is in a life threatening union.
C.) He told you from the beginning he’s only seeking to end up being buddies.
Therefore I want to know, exactly why is it possible you exposure your center on this type of a bad choice?
Practical question shouldn’t be about providing him an ultimatum, but rather, if you allow yourself the love you need?
In that case, then this is simply not the pony you need to drive inside sunset with. Manage, lady!
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